There’s nothing worse than walking into a big box retail chain and seeing their displays of Valentine’s Day merch piled high. For those who are unattached, recently separated, ghosted, or simply trying to get their groove back, the giant pink and red reminders are chafing to the heartstrings.
We at iHorror understand the plight of people who are untrusting of romance. As Wednesday Addams would say, “I wish I cared more.” But alas if you suddenly snap out of it and realize there is someone for everyone, and heartbreak is just an adverse effect of chemicals in the brain, we would like to propose watching the movies below to get you back into your asocial mindset.
Of course, we hope that everyone finds lasting love in their lives, but if there were ever a reason to question it, take a look at our offerings of Anti-Valentine’s Day movies.
It Follows (2015)
Jamie Height has sex with her boyfriend Hugh which seems pretty normal, she is an adult. But what she doesn’t know is that Hugh has passed on a sexually transmitted disease of the paranormal kind. When she does find out it’s already too late.
It Follows is a cautionary tale of trusting someone enough to let them take an intimate part of you, but not realizing they are leaving you with something way worse.
Get Out (2017)
Jordan Peele’s classic takes what should be an ordinary dating ritual of meeting the parents and turns it on its head, literally. Chris Washington is a great photographer and his girlfriend Rose wants him to meet her parents who live out in the country. Atr first the meeting is pleasant, but something seems off.
Rose’s mother is helpful, curing Chris’ addiction to cigarettes, but maybe it’s not him she’s trying to help. Just when you have a strong notion of what Get Out is going to be, it turns into something completely different. Never let your girlfriend take you to the second location.
War of the Roses (1989)
In this classic black comedy, Barbara (Kathleen Turner) and Oliver (Michael Douglas) play the Roses. They have been married for nearly two decades, but when things start to sour in the relationship, Barbara wants out.
Oliver is not happy with his soon-to-be-ex-wife’s list of material demands and thus begins a battle within the household that rivals that of Stirling Bridge. Nothing is spared in this Pyrrhic victory and the Roses eventually find out they should have never said: “I do.”
Pearl (2022)
Although the details aren’t clear about what happened between this film and its predecessor X, Pearl is about forsaking love for fame. A farm girl has big dreams of becoming a movie star, but she is thwarted at every turn. From the disapproval of her mother to her affluent sister-in-law, Pearl can’t catch a break.
That is until she meets a young, handsome projectionist in town. Let’s just say what would normally be a little fling turns into a nasty affair.
Fresh (2022)
This 2022 Hulu Original was at the top of a lot of critics’ lists this past year. This might be the most anti-Valentine movie on this list.
Noa is a Portland native who is disappointed with the types of men she is finding online. But it turns out she doesn’t even need a dating app because she meets Steve in an old-timey way: while shopping at a supermarket.
Everything seems okay, that is until they go back to Steve’s house on another date and Noa discovers Steve wasn’t shopping for produce the day they met. Gruesome and off-the-rails, Fresh may make you never want to date a cute guy again.
Run Sweetheart Run (2022)
Cherie, a single mother, works as a secretary at a law firm. One night her boss insists that she meet a client for dinner. Afraid to lose her boss’ grace, Cherie accepts and meets the man at his swanky house. The night has already started out terribly because Cherie has started her period and is out of tampons.
What seems like it might turn into a budding romance quickly dies when the client physically assaults Cherie, leaving her to roam the city streets at night bleeding and without a lifeline. Her assailant also begins to relentlessly pursue her, saying that if she survives the night he will leave her alone for good.
The Invisible Man (2020)
Cecilia Kass wants out of her abusive and controlling marriage and as good fortune would have it that seems attainable because her malevolent spouse, Adrian ends his own life. Or so we think.
Adrian is a brilliant optics engineer who has developed an invisibility suit. Having faked his death, he freely walks about the world undetected tormenting Cecilia with acts of violence and gaslighting. This twisty and violent movie makes Sleeping With the Enemy look like a Disney film.
Midsommar (2019)
After the credits start rolling on Midsommar, the question on almost everyone’s lips was “who would you have chosen?” If you don’t get that reference then you haven’t seen the movie which is a shame because it’s a doozy.
Dani Ardor is a psychology student who is deeply traumatized by the death of her sister and parents. Her increasing anxiety is only exacerbated by her flippant and pandering boyfriend, Christian, who invites her to join him and his friends on what’s supposed to be a “boy’s trip” to Sweden.
What the group encounters there is a folksy commune with deeply traditional and disturbing rites and rituals. Christian turns out to be an immoral and untrustworthy friend which leads Dani to question her own righteousness.
These are just 8 movies that we think are perfect companions if you don’t have a date for Valentine’s Day. Let us know your favorite anti-Valentine’s Day movie in the comments.
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