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Skate To Hell Movie Review by Matt Boiselle
Skate To Hell: Directed by Shawn C. Phillips, written by Shawn C. Phillips and Ethan Phillips, and starring Joseph Poloquin, Elizabeth Chamberlain, Spencer Breslin, Eric Roberts & Jenna Jameson
Synopsis: After creating a cursed skateboard for his son that allows him to visit Earth, the Devil soon finds out that it has been stolen, leaving him no choice but to hunt the board and his son down and retrieve it by any means necessary.
After rifling through endless piles of horror films over the past few weeks, your brain at times needs that essential disconnect: the ability to shut off all outside noises and simply watch something that doesn’t require a ton of thinking to process or mull over in your brainpan after the credits have rolled in finality. Enter Director Shawn C. Phillips’ “Skate To Hell” which is the perfect remedy for a mind that requires a little oblivious cinema…and that is definitely a good thing in this case.
The film itself is a dizzying 90 minute dive into utter lunacy, with the devil himself (played by the inimitable Robert LaSardo), who has created a cursed skateboard for his son (Michael B. Moynahan) which allows him to make the journey to this wretched stretch known as Earth to skate and wreak havoc upon the filthy innocents. Shortly after the board is “conveniently hijacked” by a local teen named Kurt (Poloquin), the devil’s son falls into disarray and Beelzebub has to take charge and retrieve the possessed item, causing Kurt and his band of amigos to travel through a portal to Hell itself. Anyone out there need a break yet? Can I get anyone a refreshment from the concession stand? Well, then let’s continue on our infernal journey, shall we? When the Devil breaks through Earth’s boundary, he’s transformed into a human entity (played by Mason Reese), and has to contend with a local policeman who is also on the hunt for the skateboard as well, adding to the utter absurdity (again, this is not a bad thing at all).
The movie itself is absolutely JAM-PACKED with names and faces you’ll be sure to remember, such as Eric Roberts, Jenna Jameson (as a nun, mind you), Todd Bridges, the late great Robert Carradine, and Lisa Wilcox (Nightmare On Elm Streets 4 &5) – and this is just the start. If I was to type all the notable names in this production my keyboard would be begging for a break, and that brings me to the only negative of the film. While it was absolutely fantastic to see all these fun faces (obviously) hamming it up for the presentation, you’ll be left wondering “what exactly is going on here?” at times. The Phillips’ brothers certainly did their creative contemplation when writing this film, but at times it comes off like a roll-call of sorts with all the names and faces chiming in, therefore muddling the storyline. Now, if you’re a fan of extremely stomach-rattling gore, then this film should sit high on your nausea-mantle, with numerous instances of flesh melting, excrement voiding, and even the occasional penile severing and subsequent ingestion…how’s that for a snack?
At the end of it all, Phillips’ directorial style without question has teetered into the “unhinged” category, and he looks as if he’s having fun with it – hey, if you can’t love your job to an extent why the hell are you working at it? “Skate To Hell” is a complete departure from the usual cranked-out horror/comedies, and it’s to be respected merely due to the ability of the audience to tune in and just witness what’s on screen…because if you attempted to make sense of it you’d most assuredly drive yourselves insane.
The film is currently available on most VOD streaming services, and if you’d like to purchase a DVD copy you can snag one at Amazon and MovieZyng.com.
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