No, Donald Trump Isn’t Dead. How The WILD Rumor Got Out Of Control…

Well, we can tell you for sure that Donald Trump is NOT dead, despite all the rampant speculation over the weekend.

The President spoke to reporters at a press conference at the White House on Tuesday morning, making it clear he was very much alive and well. How well? We still know nothing about his actual health situation, they’re more protective of that than the Epstein files. All we ever get is the word of his personal physician who once said he had a 2 centimeter hole blown in his ear by that shooting in Butler, Pennsylvania.

But as you can see, his ear — and now the rest of him, too — has made a miraculous recovery.

But why did people think he was on death’s door — or even on the other side of it — in the first place?? It’s kind of a long story, but we’ll try to make it short and sweet…

It started with the 79-year-old’s hand. It was recently seen with a huge bruise on it that he first tried covering in makeup. That got everyone talking about his health. He’s been showing signs of his age for months now, of course, with the leaning, the incoherent rambling, signs he might be “sundowning” — where later in the day, his energy plummeted and his confusion seemed to rise. The point is, folks have been noticing more and more that, like our previous elderly president, he’s very much feeling 79 years old. The hand only heightened that. The White House actually responded for once, assuaging fears by saying it was simply “minor soft tissue irritation from frequent handshaking.” Uh huh…

Then Trump started talking about wanting to get into heaven, something we never thought we’d hear the guy say. That raised a lot of eyebrows. And set the stage for this past week…

Related: Trump Nightmare! Ghislaine Maxwell Said Some Of Epstein’s Pals ‘Are In Your Cabinet’!

Despite usually being the most attention-seeking man in the world, Donald stayed quiet and off the radar for almost a FULL WEEK! His last time speaking to a reporter, or on camera at all, was that cabinet meeting when he surprisingly wished Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce congratulations on their engagement. That was last Tuesday, August 26.

Then nothing. No footage, no photos. For days and days.

Meanwhile, Vice President JD Vance said in an interview published on Thursday that Trump was “in good shape.” However, he added that “if, God forbid, there’s a terrible tragedy, I can’t think of better on-the-job training than what I’ve gotten over the last 200 days.” He was saying he was ready to take over. Pretty odd, ominous thing to say, right? Like he was trying to prep everyone for something happening? To sort of… cushion the blow? (Better than the other way around, we guess.)

OK, so all that got folks into a mindset where they were thinking about Trump’s mortality. And then… nothing happened. And we mean nothing. No Trump on camera all weekend! There were a couple photos of him from a great distance, like with telephoto lens, supposedly heading to his Virginia club to go golfing. But then no footage of him golfing like there usually is. Folks said reporters weren’t allowed to go to the course and see him play like they usually do. Supposedly they were confined to the tennis court area.

And in the very very few pics we did have, the POTUS was not looking his best. He looked like he wasn’t wearing his signature fake tan, his eyes were sunken, and in the most recent it looked like his hair was GONE. As in, completely bald under his big cap. Uh… What??

OK, still all speculation. Of course. But here’s where it gets hinky. Before you can say “Royal mishandling of Kate Middleton’s cancer news” the right wing establishment started putting out photos and video of Trump to “prove” he was fine. And over and over, those pics and videos were quickly debunked, having been from previous weeks. We mean… THAT’S more sus than if they hadn’t said anything! Right???

For instance, on Sunday Trump’s Truth Social account posted a pic making it seem like he’d just been golfing with former NFL coach Jon Gruden (you know, he of the racist, homophobic email scandal fame):

But then on Gruden’s social media, you could see a pic from the outing — and it was back on August 23:

But we’re talking a lot of other Trump team posting video “proof” which all turned out to be fake. SUPER suspicious. Pics from July, photos from Mar-a-Lago. Hell, one photo that everyone straight up thought was facetuned or just AI-generated! It was odd, we mean… why do a cover-up if everything is fine? Out of reflex?

Add in to that the Pentagon Pizza tracker going nuts a couple times. For those who don’t know, it’s a proven fact that the pizza business booms in Washington, DC, on nights when something big is going on for our country. You know, if there’s a military strike happening, that kind of thing. Why? Any emergency, you have a ton of White House, Pentagon, or congressional staff staying late, and you need to feed them all. And now you can look on Google and check how busy a pizza place is compared to its normal amount of customers at that hour. So it’s become a bit of a canary in the coal mine. And there’s an app that tracks it constantly for folks who get particularly anxious about what’s going on in our nation’s capitol. And over the weekend…

THE PENTAGON PIZZA TRACKER IS GOING CRAZY GUYS ???????????????? pic.twitter.com/V4zAZqXAH0

— carlos marx ???? (@lgbtjaskier) August 30, 2025

Folks also noticed there were some road closures around Walter Reed National Military Medical Center, the hospital where the president is normally taken in case of emergency.

And that whole time, no new Trump video or pics. His Truth Social kept going, but anyone could be writing that. And many didn’t think the voice was quite right. The spelling and grammar was too good, not enough ALL CAPS, that kind of thing.

Anyway, that’s how we got here. A mini-Princess Catherine scandal, only, you know, with a bit less concern in the tone and more of a rubbernecking vibe. No one wanted anything bad to actually be happening to Kate.

But now we know Trump is alive and well. Well, he’s alive anyway. He appeared at Tuesday morning’s press conference with a full head of hair, with his skin fake-tanned again, with just as much vitriol for all the Americans who don’t approve of him. He was there to announce Space Force command was being moved from Democrat-voting Colorado to Trump-friendly Alabama. He even mentioned he won the state by “47 points” so no mystery why it’s being rewarded. Same ol’ Trump…

The POTUS even took questions from reporters, including one about the speculation about his death. He responded first by saying:

“Really? I didn’t see that.”

He said he’d actually been “very active over the weekend,” going “to visit some people at the club that I own pretty nearby on the Potomac River.” He did acknowledge hearing there was concern for his health:

“I knew they were saying like ‘Is he ok? How’s he feeling? What’s wrong?’ I had heard that, but I didn’t hear it it to that extent.”

Trump then went on to blame the media, calling it “fake news”:

“I didn’t do anything for two days, and they said, ‘There must be something wrong with him.’”

We didn’t actually see a single media outlet say he was dead, btw. But of course if it fits into his narrative… To that end, he added a jab about Joe Biden:

“Biden wouldn’t do [press conferences] for months. You wouldn’t see him and nobody ever said there was ever anything wrong with him. And we know he wasn’t in the greatest of shape.”

“Nobody ever said there was ever anything wrong with him”??? Is he serious? All we heard the entire four years of his presidency was about how he wasn’t all there, and the country was being secretly run by the people around him! And that was the actual media! Trump got one weekend where folks are wondering, and it’s some kind of persecution… Of course.

DOOCY: How did you find out over the weekend that you were dead?

TRUMP: …

DOOCY: You see that?

TRUMP: No … I heard that. I get reports. pic.twitter.com/AowJJtAWGL

— Aaron Rupar (@atrupar) September 2, 2025

Of course, it should be noted… While the speculation got way out of control for Kate Middleton, too… Folks were right that everything wasn’t totally fine. And that there was health stuff being kept from the public. In that case, the Princess deserved privacy, which is a horse of a different color. We deserve to know if our President isn’t healthy enough to be in charge of the country.

Did YOU hear the rumors and speculation about Trump’s failing health over the weekend? What did you think??

[Image via The White House/YouTube.]