HBO Max is horny for horror.
I’ve said it once, I’ll say it again: horniness and horror go hand-in-hand. And why not? Horror and sex are two societal taboos that we only hunger for more when we’re told to look away. So why not combine them? Today I’ve done the work of combing through HBO Max for the absolute horniest horror titles available to stream.
Probably the horniest horror film on the streaming giant is Eli Roth’s nightmarish classic Hostel. This cornucopia of carnage is not for the faint of heart, and is absolutely stuffed to the brim with inhuman amounts of sex and violence. Maybe not the best example of a healthy alignment of horniness and horror, but undeniably the top contender. While the actual sex scenes in this film are kept to a minimum, the nudity is off the charts. It’s just too bad everyone had to get tortured to death.
For a more body positive horror entry (in the sense that the bodies are not constantly mutilated) I suggest dipping back into Alan Ball’s HBO vampire series True Blood. The male gaze is less present in this project than others no the list, with plenty of naked men for those who of us celebrate that sort of thing. One of the horniest elements of True Blood is the character of Eric played with horny intensity by the iconic Alexander Skarsgård. The amount of times we see this guys butt is unprecedented. Thank you HBO. Based on the especially horny book series “The Southern Vampire Mysteries” by Charlaine Harris, word has it a reboot of the franchise is in development.
Another novel adaptation on the horny block is Mary Harron’s grotesque interpretation of American Psycho. One of the best movies to come out in the year 2000, American Psycho concerns the character of Patrick Bateman. Played impeccably by Christian Bale, Bateman is a NYC investment banker whose mask of sanity slips off into a pool of blood and guts. He may be a maniac with a growing body count, but he’s got a body himself that’ll make just about anyone pause for a once over.
Here are the top 10 horniest horror titles streaming now on HBO Max:
- American Psycho
- Friday the 13th (2009)
- True Blood
- From Dusk Till Dawn
- Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me
- A Nightmare On Elm Street 2: Freddy’s Revenge
- A Nightmare On Elm Street 3: Dread Warriors
- Thirteen Ghosts
- Urban Legend
One of my personal favorites to make the aforementioned list is From Dusk till Dawn. Part road movie, part vampire blood buffet, this joint effort between Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez is a stone cold classic. And it features a hell of a lot of horny vampire action. One of the sexiest performances of all time has got to be Salma Hayek short turn as a vampire carrying a big ass hell snake around. Definitely a film for perennial repeats.
Lastly, what say you? Which of the above horny horror selections will you be hooking up with on HBO Max? Let me know on Twitter via @joshkorngut. I’m always around to chat all things horny horror!